You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We need to get me chipped asap
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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