I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
