So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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