her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
