The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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