But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
