I just threw up on my dentist
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
