Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
