i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
