i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
