So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You need Xanax blowdarts
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
