I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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