I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
