I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Let's paint friendship bongs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
