then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
