So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
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Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
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