im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
