i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
