Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
