Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
