This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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