the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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