you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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