im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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