So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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