There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
