Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
