No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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