who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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