Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
