You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
