Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you had me at cake vodka
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
