....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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