Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
