just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
