I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
