After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
