Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
