Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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