Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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