She said her name was "party"
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We are all done wearing pants today
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
