lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
