just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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