My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
