She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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