Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
