i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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