Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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