question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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