We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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