There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
