need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
