New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
