i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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