I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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