I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
