I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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